we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
why is half of my head shaved?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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