My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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