If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
