Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
