what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
