So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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