he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
