No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
