if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize