what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just had sex on a roof
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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