I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
