Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
