Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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