The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
