why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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