ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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