Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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