OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
