physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
