he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
