The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i've created a new STD.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
