I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
