you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
