i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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