my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
