Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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