I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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