He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
