No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
