She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
