We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
