why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
