you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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