I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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