Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Shame - the story of my life.
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