I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
