I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
