If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
