He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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