"it" just moved
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
