Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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