when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
