Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
