the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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