Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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