Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
