they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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