Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
