youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
