i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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