went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize