so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have feelings that need drinking.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize