I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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