The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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