one might say we're banned from that church
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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