So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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