Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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