You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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