whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
