I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
