Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
BRING THE BAGELS
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
