he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
