the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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