Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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