It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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