I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
