like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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