And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
