Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
