Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
