just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
