almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
