I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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