I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
