You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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