I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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