Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
