You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
