and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
