the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
